Grudge Stone

It’s been many years,

hand-1838345_1280and it kept getting bigger,

and heavier,

that grudge,

that stone,

that grudge stone.

It feels like it won’t

budge,

that grudge stone.

Till one day,

you decide to rid

yourself of it.

So, you manage to budge

that grudge-

stone.

Do you judge your

grudge

stone,

or

toss into

a

river

Or,

do you hurl

it,
s h a t t e r i n g

that glass house you live in?

What happened when you budged

that grudge, that stone,

that grudge stone?

 

 

 

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Temporary Guests

 

Hello,table-blogpic

Melancholy,

and Sadness.

Oh, wait, maybe Depression?

No, the first two

don’t get to hang out long

enough to become the third guest.

I see you moping behind my gray matter,

peeking a curious glance at my soul.

Hoping to stay for longer than a cup of tea,

coffee,

or glass of wine.

 

You want to be acknowledged. I don’t mind.

Embraced and even accepted, that’s fine, too.

 

But, oh, you dark sexy Melancholy and sweet Sadness,

you don’t get to feast with me for weeks, or

eat out of my fridge.

You don’t get to dance to drumbeats in my head every other day,

or fuck me over again.

This time around,

you are temporary guests.

I’ve already given you my best.

Dust storm style. In case you live in the desert southwest.

It’s still Haboob, a.k.a. dust shaboob _dustorm styletorm season in Arizona. While it’s accepted as the norm in the desert southwest till late September, sometimes people still want to look  pulled together  after being caught in one.
This is a weekend look for women, with styling and accessory tips for everyone living in  such conditions:
-Hair pulled away/up (captures less dust).
-Sunglasses, even if it’s not sunny. It prevents you from being blinded by debris/particles if outside.
-Bright or multi- colored top so your friends/loved ones can find you when you are in a group and walking/running for shelter.
-Vegan leather/vinyl skirt is easy to wipe dust from.
– Shoes that are easy to move quickly in (vs. the flip flop commonly seen during summer months).
-Reflective backpack can also act like a flare and shines well in the glare of headlights to alert people if you are stranded  on the roadside, while storing handy snacks.

Fashion and style have a purpose when you know how to apply it well. I wish you a stylish, safe and less dusty summer.

Parenting Adventures: No Sleep Till Burping and Other Challenges.

Recently, I had the joy of caring for a newborn loved one, my niece. This was also a short adventure in parenting in which I gained a new appreciation for parents, babies and how families survive the parenting process. It’s all a miracle how any of the family unit stays together without committing crimes of insanity or stupidity from lack of sleep.GP_cryinginheadphones

A newborn baby will not easily fall asleep if it hasn’t burped, because you know, gas happens. We adults know to take a Tums and or, get some peppermint tea and we’re good. My newborn niece doesn’t have these options. Parents, and or yours truly,  must burp her for R-E-L-I-E-F. Not just her relief, but for everyone in earshot and desiring sleep. A gassy infant is a cute, but pained and noisy tiny human.

 

Parents are sleep deprived and they are lying if they say otherwise.  Despite earplugs, I would wake to my beautiful niece crying loudly to tell us she was hungry, or wet, or both.  Sometimes, she may be just whining. I’d wait a few minutes to make sure it wasn’t the former. She would typically go back to sleep after such noises.  But really, I couldn’t stand much longer than five minutes of either because I’d think  – “What if it’s really serious and what if her parents were too exhausted to hear her?!”

So, I’d go check on her and for at least half the nights visiting my family. I’d either begin/finish a changing or a feeding. I had some nights where I didn’t wake up. I felt so bad. What if no one heard her at her feeding time that night? Such guilt – and I’m  not her mother! Madness, I tell you. Parental instincts seem to wake moms and dads.

There are other ways nature/God intervenes so sleep deprived parents don’t accidentally kill or misplace their child. Here’s some examples for why I believe this:

  • I am a conversationalist. After a few nights of sleep deprivation I had no desire to talk. This was in part, because my ability to put a sentence together was declining rapidly. How do parents communicate over the longterm successfully?
  • My memory was going to crap because of no sleep. How do parents remember if they picked their other child up at school,  and if they really did commit to $1000s in organic baby formula?
  • There MUST be something naturally induced in the human body that prevents feelings of going to a 24-hour party where you don’t recall having fun,  you woke hungover and then you survive getting run over. My body and mind felt like this after three days of little sleep.
  • I now know parents may be soothed by their baby’s scent. It ironically disappears before the child is potty-trained, so my sister  says. My niece smells like a mix of baked goods and candy. I get why my sister or her husband don’t get angry or frustrated from 3 hours of sleep after a whiff from the top of her head. I also get why you hear parents say, “I could just eat you up!” It’s not a desire to pursue cannibalism. Their kid just smells like a bakery and and candy store.This fragrance creates some happy or relaxing feelings. Nice. A baby high.  Side note – this smell DOES NOT cancel out/reduce a full-poopy-diaper smell. God/Mother Nature  – you need to work on this.

To parents everywhere whose kids have made it to age five and are happy and healthy – you amaze me. Keep up the good work.

 

The MESS is Really a MESSage.

I have small piles of what some may call disorganization, or  a “MESS.” But really, they’re a reminder of things I need to take care of next.  They are physical, tangible messages in my home and office. Some people will say everything should have a place of storage that works for you. Well, I do. Still, for certain projects, once out of sight, are no longer in mind.  From books I want to read, to events I want to attend, to topics I want to write about and or, food I want to buy on sale, I have a little “to do” pile that awaits my attention. It remains a “mess” until I act on it. They may repeat throughout my life. They are MESSages to get on task.

The same holds true for the MESS of history that is repeating itself in all our lives for a reason – the tragedies that swept Dallas, Nice, Louisiana and the ridiculous political circus this year, are just a few examples. These are all issues we’ve not as a collective whole properly or ethically addressed in the past. So, it regurgitates itself in our society into a MESS we need to pay attention to, act on and clean up – together. It’s a MESSage from God, the Universe or whatever you hold as your spiritual truth, that it’s time to stop blaming, holding onto grudges, and our self-righteousness. It’s time to hold the accountable  accountable, collaborate and move forward, with forthright calm, faith and courage.

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Did you get the MESSage?

 

Leave it at the Door

Are we getting comfy with our ego’s   –

Outrage?

Blaming?

Sadness?

Angst?

Shaming?

 

If so, I invite you to come in and get uncomfortable with me in –

Quietude.

shoes-piled

Forgiveness.

Listening.

Sharing.

Learning.

Acceptance.

It’s not too late to relate, act and collaborate.

But,

let’s leave our egos and shoes at the door.